Book Review: LOST COLONY by Tonio Andrade

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LOST COLONY: The Untold Story of China’s First Great Victory over the West

by Tonio Andrade

Published: 2011

Genre: History

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary

Holland had command over the seas in the seventeenth century. Yet, the Chinese warlord, Koxinga, defeated them in the Sino-Dutch War. Tonio Andrade, dives into the history of the Dutch colonies on the island of Taiwan. He begins with the power struggle within the Dutch command, but also the powerhouses of China and how Koxinga’s background influenced him and the men who fought with him. This book has a balance of military strategy, historical inventions, and the characters that played out this important historical battle.

Recommendation?

I read this book because I live on the island of Taiwan and have visited both Dutch forts, but I did not know the history all that well. As I read about this important battle, I discovered that Koxinga, aka Zheng Chenggong, was a TCK/CCK. His father, Zheng Zhilong, is said to be a Chinese pirate. While in Japan he married and abandoned his wife and son for many years. Koxinga was raised in Japan amongst the samurai. Most likely he was trained by them as well. Andrade notes a conflict stirs between father and son after Zhilong returns to train him to be the next in command. Whereas Zhilong put family and fortune above all else, his son did not. His son valued “righteousness and a warrior’s loyalty to his lord” (p. 61). This loyalty was to the Emperor, not to his father’s wishes. Andrade poses the question, “But what else can you expect when you abandon your son to be raised by samurai?” (p. 59).

So, if you are interested in Taiwan, the Sino-Dutch War, or the military battles of the seventeenth century, I recommend this book. If you are not, I probably told you enough about Koxinga to help you understand how being a TCK/CCK influenced his life. That was only a small part of the book, but very fascinating.

Book Review: MISUNDERSTOOD by Tanya Crossman

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MISUNDERSTOOD: The impact of growing up overseas in the 21st century

by Tanya Crossman

Published: 2016 by Summertime Publishing

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary

Misunderstood is a resource book for ATCKs, those who support TCKs, and those who are raising them. Tanya noticed differences between older ATCKs and those born after the 1980s. Through research and interviews, Tanya shares the insights she gained. This book is divided into six chapters. It covers the basics of TCKs and CCKs and how the definition is shifting somewhat. Tanya writes about the various experiences of TCK life from military to missionary, but also non-traditional to international education families. I appreciated this section as it is not always covered in other books that I’ve read.

Tanya spends a good deal of time on transition, grief, and starting over again..and again..and again. It is essential for anyone working with TCKs to understand the difficulties it can cause. The book ends with a chapter on what she titles “The Inner Lives of TCKs” and “The Future for TCKs.” Both chapters offer insights into TCKs of the 21st century and how they view life.

Why You Should Read This Book

Tanya has become known as a researcher of third culture kids (TCKs). She is currently the Director of Research for TCK Training. So, it’s no wonder this book is filled with statistics and quotes from many TCKs she interviewed. It is also filled with wisdom from other top researchers such as Doug Ota and Ruth Van Reken.

You can tell from all of my sticky notes that it is a good book. If you are seriously considering moving overseas with your child, even if you are an ATCK, this book is a rich resource. I also would recommend it to organizations who work with TCKs.

Book Review: BEING ELISABETH ELLIOT by Ellen Vaughn

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BEING ELISABETH ELLIOT

by Ellen Vaughn

Biography, Published in 2023

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

Being Elisabeth Elliot is the second book in the two-book biography series by Ellen Vaughn. She weaves historical events, life events, and Elisabeth’s thoughts from her private journal in both books. The first book is Becoming Elisabeth Elliot. It covers her early years, her courtship with Jim, and their brief marriage. It ends with her decision to leave Ecuador with her daughter, Valerie, to settle and begin life in North America.

Being Elisabeth Elliot begins with her adjustment from the communal culture of the people living in the jungles of Ecuador to New England suburbs and the harsh winters. Many people may be familiar with Elisabeth’s speeches, writings, and radio programs. Still, Ellen Vaughn shares Elisabeth’s unknown personal struggles – her struggle to be published and the criticism of her earlier works.

Ellen also shares how Elisabeth unexpectedly fell in love again while trying to do what was right. There are a few surprises about the person and character of Elisabeth Elliot that were unknown to the public and maybe only known in her private journal. Those surprises have caused a little stir in some circles on social media and possibly within close-net friendships and book clubs. I will not disclose those surprises, but I will share that I found some relief after reading this book. Relief that this woman, who so many look up to, is human. Like you. Like me. She was not perfect. Elisabeth failed in some areas of her life. However, one evident thing was that Elisabeth loved God and honestly wanted to do what was right until the end. Some may even say that the desire to do what was “right” may have been too strong, but you will have to decide on your own after you read the book.

Why Read this Book?

Elisabeth Elliot was a missionary, a wife, and a mother who lived in Ecuador and repatriated back to her passport country, the U.S. Like many who have repatriated, hers was bumpy along this path of transition. I loved that this biography was not polished and clean. Ellen Vaughn does an excellent job telling the truth while still honoring the main character, Elisabeth Elliot – a woman many admire.

Book Review: SERVING AT THE ENDS OF THE EARTH by Steve and Gill Bryant

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SERVING AT THE ENDS OF THE EARTH: Family life and TCKs, 3rd edition

by Steve and Gill Bryant

Published: 2017

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Serving at the Ends of the Earth is divided into seven sections. Steve and Gill begin by laying a foundation for what a missionary kid (MK) or third culture kid (TCK) is. They devote a section on transition describing what it is like, ideas to help with re-entry, and even a chapter for those times when a family may suddenly need to leave the host country without warning. Another section deals with parenting TCKs and has a chapter on cross-cultural marriages, which is nice as there are not a lot of resources on this topic. These sections are helpful and bring up some points that would be good for spouses/partners to discuss during all stages of transition.

I appreciated the last three sections of the book. First, one section deals with the heavy topic of dangerous situations and keeping children safe. This section was practical and is something that more and more organizations are becoming more educated in. I was glad to see it in this book as parents also need to be educated and know practical ways to keep their children safe.

The next section was about non-American TCKs. I appreciated this section because much of the literature comes from this background, and it is so good to read about what TCKs from other parts of the world experience. Their experiences are different and the challenges of repatriating or transitioning to university can be tricky. If you work in international schools, mission organizations, or HR departments of companies that have missionaries/global workers from all over the world, then I highly recommend this book just for this section alone.

The book’s last section is near and dear to my heart – educational issues. They discuss the different options, as well as their advantages and disadvantages. Another chapter deals with boarding schools. These two chapters are logical and can really help parents figure out what is best for each of their children. The authors point out that children are different and could need different educational options to help them grow and mature. The last chapter is on special education. Most of this chapter described various impairments, but the last few pages had guidelines for parents of children with special needs and for the sending agency. While I’m glad they included this chapter, I had a lot of questions after reading it, especially regarding their recommendations about MK schools being willing and able to take these students. While one would think it might be true, in reality there are few. But that is for another post at another time.

Though the audience of this book is missionary families and those who work with them, I see benefits to any global mobile family or organization/company that works with them to better understand what families need to consider when making a big move.

Book Review: BECOMING MORE FRUITFUL by Amy Young

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BECOMING MORE FRUITFUL IN CROSS-CULTURAL WORK: How to be Free in Christ and Rooted in Reality as You Fulfill Your Call

by Amy Young

Published: 2022 by Messy Middle Press

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

In this book, Amy Young dives into what is known as “The Fruit of the Spirit” from Galatians 5:22-23. If you are unfamiliar with this phrase or this passage, here is a quick summary. Paul lists nine characteristics Christians have in Christ. This is not a devotional or a sermon, so I will not explain why Christians do not always produce or show these fruits well. Amy does a nice job with that. But, here are the fruit listed from the Galatians passage: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. She also explains why Paul calls the nine the “fruit of the spirit” instead of “fruits.”

The book is divided into three sections. Amy shows how the first three characteristics mentioned point upward to our relationship with God. The second section focuses on the next three characteristics and how they reflect (or should reflect) towards others. The last section reveals how the last three characteristics relate to our self.

The book is easy to read, and the concepts are simple. Her audience is cross-cultural workers, but I see how it can be used for any Christian wanting to grow in their faith and knowledge of God. My only criticism is that I wish she had added some questions at the end of each chapter that would cause me to stop and reflect on my life. Instead, I felt like I had read the chapter, nodding in understanding and acknowledgment, but was not challenged to examine my life. Maybe if I had read this book with a group of others and discussed the concepts more, I would feel differently.

Overall, it is a good book if you want a basic understanding of Paul’s characteristics in Galatians. But, if you want to grow, I recommend reading it with a study group.

Workshop Review: Unstacking Your Grief Tower 101

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Unstacking Your Grief Tower 101

Company: Unstacking Company

Instructor: Lauren Wells

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Grief is common to all humans. It is something we all experience at some point in our life. It does not matter if we are rich or poor, healthy or not, or what country or culture we come from. At some point in our life, we all will experience grief.

We often equate grief with death. And although death is a big season of grief, it is one of many reasons we experience grief. Grief comes because of loss. Of course, death is a significant loss – and so the grieving is deeper and harder. But grief also visits when a friend moves away, or we move, or when we lose a job, or [you fill in the blank].

This workshop is a course in grief processing. Specifically, Lauren instructs the viewer about her model of grief – The Grief Tower. I have reviewed two books that she wrote about the Grief Tower Model. (And she has a new book coming out in March that you can pre-order here). I have also reviewed the other video for someone who is in current grief. If you are currently going through something hard, I highly suggest you read my review and check out that 35-minute video to help you process that “block” on your grief tower.

If you do not know what a “block” is or what the Grief Tower Model is, AND you are not currently processing deep grief, then keep reading.

Unstacking Your Grief Tower 101 is a 60-minute workshop teaching the Grief Tower Model. Lauren takes you through the theory behind this. But she also guides you to process a less heavy block on your own grief tower. I found the step-by-step process easy to follow and a good way to practice using the model. This workshop will help you process for yourself and help someone else process their own block(s) as well. I appreciated this workshop because Lauren talked through visceral signs to look for in yourself or the person you are working with to know when to pause and take a break.

As always, Unstacking Company warns that this workshop should never take the place of therapy. Seek help from a counselor.*

*I am a short-term counselor if you do not know where to find one. Please reach out by email or go to my company’s website, Global Crossroads Consulting. I do offer a 30-minute free consultation.

Guest at Multicultural Kids Blog for Chinese New Year (Lunar New Year)

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This week, I was a guest writer for the Multicultural Kids Blog. A few weeks ago, I took my youngest to one of the oldest CNY markets in Taipei. I shared about what I experienced as a mother to a child about to fly the nest.

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But, if you are interested in what a CNY market is like, then come with me and tour the market through photos and descriptions of what we saw that evening. You can find the full tour at this MKB site.

Book Review: EVERYTHING SAD IS UNTRUE by Daniel Nayeri

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EVERYTHING SAD IS UNTRUE (a true story)

by Daniel Nayeri

Published: 2020

Genre: Autobiography for ages 12+

Disclosure: This post contains Amazon affiliate links. If you click and purchase, Raising TCKs blog will receive a small commission to maintain this site.

Summary:

Khosrou fled Iran with his older sister and mother in the middle of the night. They were refugees in Italy and then landed in Oklahoma, USA. The kids in his class are unsure of this dark-skinned boy whose lunch smells weird and tells stories that sound like something from the movie Aladdin. In Oklahoma, Khosrou is called Daniel. It is a true story of a young boy learning to adapt to a new culture while trying desperately to remember his family’s heritage.

Why I reviewed this book:

As the definition of a third culture kid (TCK) has evolved over the years, it has now become one of many subgroups of what is known as a cross-cultural kid (CCK). This was explained in detail at the International Third Culture Kid Conference (ITCKC) 2023. They reported that research shows that many of the subgroups of CCK have many similar shared experiences. This book is not a TCK book but rather that of the subgroup of refugees.

Here are a few of those shared experiences:

  • learning a new language
  • eating new foods
  • living between two worlds: the American school life and that of home culture

I recommend this book to anyone over the age of 12. It has won many awards for good writing and for a children’s book. But I also recommend it to adults as we can relate to the themes as we are trying to raise our own children.

My Favorite Quote:

“Would you rather a god who listens or a god who speaks? Be careful with the answer.”

Daniel Nayeri, everything sad is untrue, page 216

This question and his conclusion continue to bounce around my brain, as it is such a good question. You’ll have to read the book to find out for yourself his answer.

Day in the Life: A “No Regrets” Story

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My youngest TCK will graduate at the end of this semester, and we are starting to build her RAF(G)T while I build my DOCK. Since Chinese New Year (also known as Lunar New Year) is quickly approaching, I thought going to the oldest market in Taipei, Di Hua Jie (迪化街), was important.

The Decision:

We live in what is called New Taipei City. Traveling into the city can take up to 1.5 hours by bus. Driving might take less time, but finding parking is not a game I like to play, especially on a weekend. All week the weather was dark, raining and cold. Everything in me rejected the idea of going into the city to do this with my daughter. Even she was not thrilled, but we looked at a weather app, which forecasted an “8% chance of rain.” It was going to be this night or not at all. We grabbed our coats and bus cards and briskly walked to the bus stop.

The Journey:

The bus was running the air conditioner. I kid you not. For one hour, I sat rocking, rubbing my arms trying to get warm, thinking, “Why did I think this would be a good idea? Why did I agree to this?”

We exited the bus at the Main Station, and I saw this statue that said “Father’s Love.” I smiled. It was not raining, and it was much warmer than the bus. Plus, just a few hundred meters away we spotted one of our favorite meals, hotpot. Perfect for cooler winter days.

The Time Together:

If you have ever been to an open market, you will understand the crowds, the hustle and bustle of everyone. If you have not, then imagine this: Dads holding the hands of toddlers. Moms pushing strollers. Grandparents showing their grandchildren bright red ornaments. Children stuffing plastic bags with bright-colored candy. Slowly moving along to the music of vendors calling out to buy their goods. Stopping every few steps to accept the offer of said good. Samples of spicy peanuts, dried pork, dried squic, dried veggies and fruit, sweet and sour candy, and nougat candy – it’s a paradise for any Foodie.

But it is also the opposite for those who are quick to get overstimulated. This is one reason why we only went one time as a family. It would have been when I was the mom pushing the double stroller while my husband held our toddler’s hand and parted a path through the crowd. I smiled and nodded to many parents with littles remembering those long ago days. Was it really that long ago?

The Conclusion:

As we slowly shuffled down the street, sampling a little of this and a lot of that, I noticed my daughter shifting from the follower to the leader. Isn’t that how life is supposed to be in a way. We lead our children in the ways we hope they will go. We teach, we guide, and then one day, they go off on their own, sometimes leading us.

Part of my DOCK was completed that evening. I started the evening wondering if I would regret the decision we made to venture out on a cold evening. The only regret I have is not buying another strawberry redbean mochi.

Book Reviews: THE GRIEF TOWER & UNSTACKING YOUR GRIEF TOWER by Lauren Wells

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THE GRIEF TOWER: A practical guide to processing grief with third culture kids

Published: 2021

UNSTACKING YOUR GRIEF TOWER for adult third culture kids

Published: 2021

Both books were written by Lauren Wells.

*Please note that I earn from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate. Please see disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

Summary:

Lauren Wells is the CEO of TCK Training and the Unstacking Company. The TCK life is an ampersand where life is both exciting and hard. As a TCK and working with a number of TCKs, she found that processing grief and loss was hard work. She also noticed a gap in the care for TCKs and started to fill that gap with her book, Raising up a Generation of Healthy Third Culture Kids. Soon after, she released her books based on the Grief Tower Model that she developed. This model is to help process grief and loss.

THE GRIEF TOWER

This book is only 84 pages long. The chapters are short and easy to read. It is the theory behind the Grief Tower Model. Lauren offers clear understanding with practical suggestions to help TCKs process their own grief and loss. I appreciate this book as it breaks up the ideas for younger and older TCKs and how to relate to each group. It is a good book if you are curious about a grief model that looks at the life of TCKs. But if you plan to use the model with others, I highly recommend taking one of TCK Training’s workshops on debriefs or transitions.

UNSTACKING YOUR GRIEF TOWER

This is a practical guide for adult third-culture kids (ATCK), not children. It complements the book THE GRIEF TOWER, but you would not necessarily need to read it first. Lauren spends time in the introduction explaining the whats and whys behind this model. Each chapter guides you in processing your grief tower by asking questions or providing activities to work through. It can be done individually, or it could be done in a group where individuals share and move along together. This would need to be a “safe” space with guided rules of conduct, but processing grief with others can be healing. The Unstacking Company also offers a guided video workshop called Unstacking Your Grief Tower 101 led by Lauren. They also offer a workshop Processing Current Grief. Both workshops can be found here.

Both books warn that they are for educational purposes and not to be a substitute for “professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.”